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An Easter tale

April 7th, 2007

Like many other bloggers, Tyler disagreed with Paul Graham’s recent assertion that “Microsoft is dead“[1] by claiming that “Microsoft is (Unfortunately) Alive and Kicking.”

Well, they’re both wrong.

And they’re both right. The truth is that Microsoft is in the process of being resurrected.

Born during an especially bright alignment of the stars called Preparation and Opportunity, the infant Microsoft had instant recognition as something special. It spent its time as a newborn being showered by gifts from the three wise men called Aye, Bee, and Emm. Then some stuff happened, but nobody really remembers much about it.

Years later, Microsoft popped back onto the radar and began amassing a following in the land called Desktop. To the wonderment of many, miracles were performed that came to be known as Windows, Office, and Internet Explorer. Others scoffed at Microsoft’s actions and accomplishments, calling them unoriginal and inferior, but the criticisms did not quell the company’s growing popularity. More time passed, but then one day, when the company was about thirty years old, the company was betrayed by one of its own.

The powerful Web 2.0 Empire[2] sentenced Microsoft to death alongside the landline phone and CRT monitors. Most of the populace rejoiced Microsoft’s plight, but at least a few mourned its passing and hoped for its return in a new, improved form. Those left with the Microsoftian corpse interred it and made a prediction: Microsoft would rise again. They even threw together a schedule that showed the glorious return in a few days time. Unfortunately, that schedule was made without engineering input, so days slipped into years.

One morning, somebody went looking at Microsoft’s grave, and lo, it was empty! What had happened?

The faithful whispered “Office XML documents” and “Windows Live” even as the Empire celebrated Facebook, Twitter, and Google Docs.

Is Microsoft alive again? The signs suggest vitality, but the conclusion is yet to come.

[1] This is, of course, an allusion to Nietzsche’s statement that “God is dead” — in other words, “dead” means “irrelevant” not “defunct.”

[2] The empire later fell due to economic problems

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