In between various other projects this weekend, I decided that I need a new suit. Seeing as how there’s a distinct dearth of places to purchase suits in Terre Haute, I chose to postpone this bit of commerce until I return to Minnesota. Not wanting to be caught off-guard by the whole ordeal, I went to The Men’s Warehouse‘s web site. I read through a few of their suit-related guides when I happened upon a page containing “LifeStyle Lists,” or as they put it, “crib sheets for life.” Though all entertaining, insightful, and maybe – just maybe – useful, one in particular caught my eye: “11 Observations that reveal more about you than your sign.”

The eleven, and my opinion of how I fare, are:

• How you eat. How I eat depends on the situation. At breakfast (yes, I do eat breakfast), I tend to eat as fast as possible. Usually I can get down my bowl of Cheerios and glass of orange juice in just a couple of minutes. Lunch is more leisurely (but only slightly), and dinner, if it happens, varies greatly on the situation. When in a more formal setting, such as at a restaurant, I generally progress much slower and with much greater precision than at other times. My etiquette follows the situation: at high-class functions, I follow social protocol as best I know how. One quirk I have, if one could call it such, is that I tend to eat in the “American” style in informal settings and the “European” style on formal occasions. The most noticeable difference between the two is the hand that the fork is in – right for American, left for European.
• How you dance. Well, I can’t dance. Frankly, it isn’t too high on my list of things to learn either.
• The items, or lack of items, in your refrigerator. Currently in my refrigerator, I have two 96-oz containers of Tropicana ‘Homestyle’ orange juice, two half-gallons of skim milk, one Red Barron cheese pizza, a half-empty container of margarine, and an empty Tupperware container, previous contents unknown.
• How you say goodbye. I suppose that how I say goodbye depends on who I am saying goodbye to. For example, saying goodbye to my mom when returning to school involves lots of hugs, tears on her part, and wishes for safe drives. Saying goodbye to one of my buddies is usually a quick utterance of “Later!”
• The sheets on your bed. The sheets on my bed are blue. I think that they are made of cotton. Beyond that, I know nothing about them.
• The shampoo in your shower. I have the Pert Plus all-in-one shampoo/conditioner.
• The CD that comes on when you turn the key in the ignition. As of today, the CD that comes on is Linkin Park’s “Meteora”
• Your shoes. My usual shoes are a pair of brown leather Sketchers Alley Cat, which are Oxford-style casual shoes. My sandals are also brown leather, though unfortunately, they are nearly worn out. I’ve been on an informal quest as of late to find replacements for them, but have so far been unsuccessful.
• Your underwear, or lack thereof. It’s there, and that’s all I’ll say about it.
• What’s in the trunk of your car. All of the items that have taken up permanent residence in my Bonneville’s posterior are car related. Items run the gamut from a 2-ton jack, to complete factory service manuals, to motorcycle gloves, not to mention the various car-care products, engine fluids, and tools. It’s all (mostly) organized into a compartmentalized bag.
• Your five favorite movies. My five favorite movies, in order of preference, are Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, The Sting, Fight Club, and The Game.

What does this all mean? Let me know!