I’ve been writing a lot about Rainbow as of late, so imagine my surprise when I opened today’s Star Tribune: There, on the front page of the Business section, was an article about Rainbow. Oddly enough, the journalist chose to focus the article on the changes made at my former Rainbow, the Plymouth Station store. I won’t bore you with the details, but basically the article claimed the store has become cleaner, brighter, fresher, and cheaper. With that, I vow to never again mention Rainbow in this blog.

After reading a different article in the Star Tribune earlier this week, I decided to get up early this morning and head over to St. Paul. Why? Mensa is having its annual gathering in St. Paul this weekend. As part of the event, they are offering an admittance test. After getting a good night’s sleep and eating my usual breakfast, I arrived in St. Paul at the Radisson Inn, where I joined 100 other Mensa hopefuls. Yes, I woke up early on a weekend to take a difficult test during my vacation from the kingdom of difficult tests, Rose-Hulman. Oh yeah, I paid to do it, too.

The test environment was reminiscent of the ACT and SAT, except the test taker median age was much older. The test session consisted of two separate test, either of which would qualify one for membership. The first test, the longer of the two, was a timed, sectioned test gauging many aspects of intelligence: pattern identification, math, coding speed, verbal acuity, and others. The test also stressed short term memory, in that the final section of the test contained questions about a short story that was read prior to the first section of the test. Surprisingly, neither of the tests were similar to the online practice test — the real ones were MUCH harder.

I will find out in a few weeks whether or not I qualified. Based on previous testing experiences and online practice exams, I think I will be right on the borderline. Though Mensa cannot release a raw IQ number based on the test (silly state laws), a qualifying score is usually in the lower 130s.

After the test, we were all encouraged to pick up a sample of “SmartWater Sport,” a bottled water fortified with electrolytes. This ain’t no ordinary spring water; it’s vapor distilled water. Maybe I’m wrong, but doesn’t distillation imply the presence of vapor? The side of the bottle describes a suggested use of the water, comparing it to sport drinks like Gatorade: “It has come to our attention that, at the conclusion of some sporting events, athletes pour large buckets of a ‘sports drink’ over their coach’s head. Not to be outdone, we encourage our loyal consumers to do the same after a grueling match. O.K, sure, dumping this over your chess team coach’s head may sound strange, but trust is, nothing gets chess fans more pumped.” Hmmm, I dunno about that. Any comment, Tyler? In any case, the free bottles were of the 750 ml size. Given the color, the “vapor distilled” verbiage, and the size, I couldn’t help but think that the water looked like a bottle of Absolut. Perhaps that characterization puts the water in the wrong class. After all, if I don’t qualify for Mensa membership, I essentially bought myself the world’s most expensive fifth of water. Pricier, even, than a fifth of Grey Goose. I hope I get in.