And now for a completely different topic (ha), my car started to make a terrible racket roughly a week ago. After replacing the spark plugs and wires, I hoped the noise would abate. Granted, the engine was much smoother, but this horrible repetitive noise continued to invade the cabin. I soon traced the problem to my air conditioning compressor (not a spun main bearing; whew!) and guessed that the problem was with a bad compressor clutch and compressor bearing. On Saturday, I brought the Bonnie into the dealer, as I had neither the tools nor experience to do service AC components. My eventual departure of from the dealer was a bittersweet moment: the noise was completely gone, but my pocketbook was disproportionately lighter. Still, having a quiet, smooth Bonnie was worth the expense.

Hmmm… That was too much of a complaint. Let’s try again.

Saturday was a beautiful day. The Bonnie was giving me a good-natured ribbing by producing a pesky little noise from the front of the engine bay. Silly car! I want her to last as long as possible, so I decided to have somebody adept in car medicine heal her. While the operation was in progress, I flirted with some other four-wheeled ladies at the dealer’s lot. I was casually moseying around, glancing at the workaday Cavaliers and faithful Impalas when I noticed an enticing foreigner in lurking in their midst.

Provocatively dressed in all black, the European sensation has been the object of my lust for years prior. Her black leather and silver jewelry further incited my primal passion. I yearned to dance with her, to hear her speak with her resonant voice. As I studied her voluptuous curves, it took every ounce of my self not to move closer, mindful that her foremost partner might be waiting nearby. I moved to examine her from a different angle, desperate to soak the experience into my psyche, to be able to recall and retrace her shameless lines with my mind’s eye.

She was obviously refined, yet she could not hide her bad-girl side. As I slowly circled round, I noticed a tattoo on her posterior. “Carrera 4S” it said. I spent the better part of half an hour studying her, but it felt like mere seconds. Eventually, I felt the time was right to move on, so I bid the beautiful Porsche farewell.

Later, when I picked up the Bonnie, I did my best to assure her that it was a one-time occurrence. Nonetheless, the Bonnie seemed jealous and sulked in silence. Fine by me; in the long run, she’s happier when she’s quiet, and so am I. Mission accomplished.